5 Lessons I Wish I’d Learned Sooner

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

@thenaijalowdownwriter

I used to think that wisdom was something that just arrived one day, like a package you forgot you’d ordered. You’d open the door, and there it would be: a serene, all-knowing version of yourself, ready to handle life’s chaos with a calm smile.

Turns out, it doesn’t work like that. Wisdom isn’t delivered; it’s collected. It’s the mosaic you piece together from the shattered tiles of your own mistakes, missteps, and occasional faceplants.

Looking back, there’s a handful of lessons that feel like cheat codes. They’re the ones that, had I internalized them earlier, would have saved me a tremendous amount of anxiety, wasted time, and energy. This is my user’s manual to my own brain (a letter to my younger self).

1. You Are Not Your Thoughts

This is the big one. The game-changer. For the longest time, I believed every single thought that raced through my head was an undeniable truth. The critical voice that said, “You’re not good enough,” or the anxious one that spiraled about every possible worst-case scenario, I treated them all as gospel.

The Lesson I Wish I Learned: Your mind is a thought-generating machine. It’s what it does. But not every thought is valuable, true, or even deserves your attention. You are the awareness behind the thoughts, the one who can observe them without getting swept away. Learning to create that tiny gap between a thought arising and you reacting to it is the foundation of emotional freedom. It’s the difference between being stuck in a storm and watching it from a window.

2. Done is Better Than Perfect

Perfectionism is a fancy disguise for fear. Fear of judgment, fear of failure, fear of being seen as inadequate. I spent so many years procrastinating, over-preparing, and not starting because the conditions weren’t “just right.” That report, that art project, that difficult conversation, they all languished in the purgatory of “almost ready.”

The Lesson I Wish I Learned: A good plan executed today is better than a perfect plan executed someday. Finished work can be improved. A launched project gathers feedback. A sent email starts a conversation. A perfect idea in your head does nothing but collect dust. Embrace the messy, beautiful process of iteration. Your first attempt is not your final destination; it’s just the first step.

3. Your Network is Your Net Worth (And It’s Not About Using People)

I used to think networking was a transactional, sleazy thing or something for extroverted salespeople. I believed that if I just kept my head down and did good work, I would be recognized and rewarded.

The Lesson I Wish I Learned: Building a genuine network isn’t about using people; it’s about building a community. It’s about curiosity. It’s about asking people about their stories, their challenges, and their passions without an immediate ask. The most profound opportunities like jobs, collaborations, friendships, have come not from cold applications, but from warm connections built over time. Invest in people, not just your skills.

4. “No” is a Complete Sentence

I was a chronic people-pleaser. Saying “yes” to things I didn’t want to do, out of a sense of obligation or a fear of disappointing others, left me exhausted, resentful, and stretched too thin. My time and energy felt like they belonged to everyone but me.

The Lesson I Wish I Learned: Every time you say “yes” to something you don’t want, you’re saying “no” to something you do, which is your peace, your priorities, your passions. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s self-respect. A clear, kind “no” is far better than a vague, resentful “yes.” It protects your energy and allows you to show up fully for the things you truly commit to.

5. The Compound Effect is Real

We’re wired to look for the big breakthrough, the lottery win, and the overnight success. I’d start a new habit like doing squats for bigger butts, or learning a language, and getting discouraged when I wasn’t transformed in a week.

The Lesson I Wish I Learned: The most powerful force in the universe isn’t a sudden explosion; it’s steady, incremental growth. Reading 10 pages a day doesn’t feel like much, but it’s over a dozen books a year. A 15-minute walk seems trivial, but compounded over a decade, it’s a mountain of health benefits. Stop underestimating the small, daily choices. They are the bricks that build your future self. Focus on the direction, not the speed.

These lessons aren’t one-and-done. I’m still learning to apply them every single day. But now, when that critical thought arises or the urge to procrastinate for perfection hits, I have a manual to consult. It’s the manual I wish I’d had from the start.

What’s one lesson you would add to the list? Share it in the comments below, I’d love to add a few more pages to this manual.